The Box

A woman sits in her office in Washington, D.C. looking at photos of two children taken about thirteen years ago hung on the wall of her cubicle. The one of the older child, a Korean boy, is a professional photo of him perched on a stepladder smiling at the camera with a basketball tucked under his arm. He is around 11 years old in the photo, the same age the woman's son is now. The other is a Polaroid snapshot of a 4 year-old girl standing next to a screened pool in Florida in pigtailed blonde hair holding a stuffed animal. Underneath the old photos, the woman pinned up the most current photos of the children. The boy, all grown up, grinning in a store dressed in a motorcycle jacket. The girl, sixteen, taking a self-photo which she puts in an album called "There's a hole in my heart" with the caption, "But outside, everything's ok".

They are not the woman's children. They might have grown up in the same house had history played out in a completely different manner. Instead, all three are haunted by a tragedy that occurred twelve years ago and have never met because of it. The woman ran far away and tried to never look back. Every once in a while she tried to look up the children, hoping with all her heart they were happy and fulfilled; that they grew up in their new family feeling safe, secure and loved. She learned the boy was in a high school sparring club and apparently quite accomplished. She felt pride for him and still wondered if he was happy or always haunted by the events of that fateful day.

While taking a bath, she began again wondering about the children. The boy would be about 23 or 24 -- maybe out of college and starting a career? Once seated at her computer, she began Googling his name and followed the first link to a website called familysearch.org. "Odd," she thought as she looked at the landing page. Members of the entire family were listed with birth an death dates, including the children's father, brother (news of his death was a surprise to the woman, but not shocking). No, shocking was clicking the link on the boy's name. She wound up at an individual record page.

Birth Date: 2 Jul 1986
Death Date: 5 Sep 2006

Death Date?! The woman's heart plummeted causing her stomach to turn. "There must be some mistake!" Unbelieving, she read and reread... and read again just to be sure her eyes weren't deceiving her. The birth state and residence at time of death matched what she knew about the boy. There was no mistake -- this individual record was definitely him. No, no, no this was not at all how she envisioned his life path! He died three years ago at the age of 20. He never got married, never had children of his own.

And what about his sister? The woman found her online on Twitter and Facebook. The resemblance to the woman's own son was unmistakable. The new family changed her last name (but had not changed the boy's), making finding her a little more difficult but far from impossible.

The woman grabbed a chair and pulled the box down from an overhead cabinet. Inside, the photos of the children now pinned to her wall had remained hidden in the dark confines for years. She glanced through the other contents of the box - a hat saying "Get Over It" (ha!), a wedding ring set, photos, an old (really old!) cell phone, watch, AMA membership card and a single rose petal dried and blackened. The woman cries as she pulls into the office parking garage for the second day in row while blaring the Dixie Chicks from her Jeep. Scabs were ripped off after staying sealed. Now she has a decade of submerged fears to overcome and doors to consider opening.

I've paid a price, and I'll keep paying
[...]
It's too late to make it right, I probably wouldn't if I could...
...Can't bring myself to do what it is (I) think I should
[...]
They say time heals everything, but I'm still waiting

There's a heartbroken teenage emotion-driven sixteen year old girl in Florida who lost her parents at a young age, then her brother, and may not even know she has another brother out there. But... oh those fears. Opening old memories and facing people the woman ran from...

She meant to send the girl a Holiday Barbie doll every Christmas from age 5 on. That was what her father had given her every year of her toddlerhood. Fear prevented the woman from following through, deciding to cut all ties and let the children grow up in their new family unencumbered. Now...? She guesses maybe it's time to contact the good Reverend.