Two posts in one day!

Will wonders never cease?!

I used to be a pretty darn good writer. But somewhere along the way, I think I became too "me" focused. Actually, I was always that way, but it worked for me. It no longer does. Partially because I take sniping and criticism to heart (despite advising others to be ducks and let it roll off their backs). I've also apparently lost passion for what I write about. Topics used to come easy to me. I could read one quote and riff an entire post off it. Now, I can go days before anything sparks my interest to take to the keyboard. And now I get paid for it... so I fret over if it's "good enough" for the media site and obsess over word counts (something unheard of before).

Something happened that sparked that passion again and I wrote probably one of my best pieces (on my personal blog, not the media site). Still, it was a little too "me" focused and maybe I should have left that out. I was trying to paint a picture of how the person I was writing about wasn't like his peers in the press box, not make it my horror at not being his best friend. I think I missed the mark there. What I was trying to convey was that the image he presents is not all it appears, but oh well.

I had information he did not. He clearly misspoke and then lashed out at people who "had no information". Which I had. And he didn't. I was enraged. He lashed out against someone he covers day to day who is a national star. It was wrong. So I took him down.

And now I'm regretting it. I'm not one to get negative normally in my writing. I'm not negative in person. But now I feel like a "bad person". I want the good passion back. I don't want to get angered in order to write well (and then worry about showing my face in the press box ever again since it appears this guy will not get fired for his clearly wrong embarrassing remarks). Huh.

So now I'm considering quitting something I've loved and enjoyed for the past 5 years over a single event where I was for once in my life very opinionated. Silly? I don't know. Just when I achieved my goals of getting hired by a major media outlet to write, not be a sysadmin. Maybe I can retrain myself to write with a new style, but my honesty and views are what I've done well. Ho hum, what a conundrum.

I still stand by what I wrote :P

The other side to this is the deeper in I get, the more I see the sniping between (and behind backs of) other writers. I see the lies and misinformation fed to the media. It's lost its shine. That childlike innocence and craving curiosity I possessed that led me to this point has been killed.